I was blog walking yesterday, and I came to a blog of my dear friend. He was posting about, how his "best friend" had disappointed him. And then, we were chatting online, and I started talking about his problem, because believe it or not, I had the same problem as his. He said, it happened three years ago, and they're okay now, they're back as best friend, and his friend actually said that my friend is the best friend he ever had. and I was like .. how lucky

I had the same problem, but it doesn't turn out the way it turned out for my friend. I was a little jealous, because he has what I always want. I guess after what happened to me about this matter, I've arrived on a hypothesis, maybe there's no such thing as the term "True Friends".

You know, I really have a big problem on letting go. I've been betrayed by the same "best friend ever" for quite sometime without even him realizing it, and for that, I paid the price and I'm still paying, because I just wouldn't let go. I'm afraid that nobody would want to be as close to me as he is. I'm afraid of being lonely, so I just keep paying the price again and again and don't know how or when to stop.

I guess, all of that have pushed me to create this world , a world where everything runs the way I want it, no pain ... no betrayal .. no sad tears .. I just don't think if it will become a reality. Perhaps God has a different plan for me and I guess I either have to wait or search for it.

For now, I just need a friend, just a friend that I can really call "True Friend", let me prove that my hypothesis is wrong. Just let me have that feeling of somebody is there for me ...