I need a friend, is it too much to ask for?

People always say, be a friend if you want them to be your friend, but in reality, I don't think that kind of thing even exists. I always "be a friend" to all of people who I know, not just a friend, but a best friend, but what do they give me? Ironic, too ironic ...

Once, a teacher of mine asked me, in my life which is more, happiness or sadness? and I answered, sadness, and that's how I really felt then, I know that I should be thankful for everything that I have right now, for everything that God has given me, but on top of that, there's still a hole in my heart that is in need to be mend.

I lost my friends, but I'm not sure if I founded them in the first place. Without them, I am nothing. Every person that I called friend ended leaving me behind or leaving me out or even betrayed my trust. I paid the price for what they've done to me, and I'm still paying, I can't stop it.